Is unisex upbringing on your mind??

"Pink!!!! Pink is my favorite color!" exclaimed my one and a half year old girl!!
And poof! all my dreams of unisex upbringing or what they call in the West, 'Gender neutral upbringing' vanished in thin air.

Yeah, pink is a lovely color. See, my blog has a tinge of pink and it gives it a happening look. But, should this color be associated just with feminism?

I never discriminated between frocks and jumpsuits, nor did I bought the newly loved pink suitcases for my lil daughter. I gave her blocks to play and asked her to hit the football with the boys. But there she is, standing in front of me, recognizing her favorite color among a slew of others. This made me thinking. Oh! I understand, now Pink is the favorite color of boys too and that might be the reason she liked it.

Whatever reasoning I gave, my heart came to understand that girls indeed are different. I have so many friends, who have kids my daughter's age. When we chat, we come to know that boys indeed like cars and trucks, while girls jump towards things that could be arranged. While boys play by hugging and hitting each other, girls smile and wink and jump together.

My fellow-mommies have decided to bring their kids in a neutral manner. But, their experience with their kids was a completely different thing, especially those who have boys. They say that their boys do not gel with little girls. They are hesitant to share their toys and even pull their hair. While they are okay with sharing them with boys and enjoy the hitting game. One of my friends, Ami, remarked that her little boy behaves well with my daughter but the moment there was a boy at her place, he behaved in a completely boy-ish manner.

So, how should I groom my daughter, was my question! My confusion was quadrupled when my maid uttered these words one day. "Isko t-shirt-pant nahin pehanao didi!" said my maid. I reasoned and she was of the opinion that my baby would have a habit of behaving like boys, dressing up like them, talking in their language and stuff. I was amused but it was a food for thought for me.

After reading articles, i understood that there is a fine line that should not be crossed. I had decided upon unisex upbringing, which does not mean that I cannot make her wear dresses, nor will I make her play with trucks all the time. I will do everything that mothers of boys do and also that of girls. My idea of upbringing is to let her decide what she wants to be like, a boy or a girl. I do not want to make my kiddo a feminist, though. I want to make her a tough girl, who can do everything that boys do, and still be called a woman of mettle.

My lil one is two-year old now. She does not shy away from boys, she plays even with the elder ones. She talks to everyone, in fact, she initiates conversations at times, just like I do. The one thing that I like about her, at present, is that she does not allow anyone to touch her. However much we think about neutral upbringing, girls will remain girls, and it is required that they learn protecting themselves, whether they are in India or in a country, seven seas across. 

Make way!!! New-Age Nani is here

"Oh!!! you like this video! let me save this offline, for you!!! Says the Nani of my two year old.

I had a pre-conceived notion that taking my toddler to nani will bring a change in her habits. Instead of videos, she will play with nani, she will learn some bhajans along with rhymes and what nots. All this vanished when i witnessed the new-age nani. My toddler loved the way nani made her play games on the tab and nanu fulfilled her every wish. Move over the old age nanis who used to make aamras and pickles for you. This new-age nani says, "Let's have a fanta float" or a slice of pizza at the new outlet!

I faintly remember our summer holiday trips to Nani's place. Firstly, our nani stayed far away. This 'far away' seemed way too far away as our mommies towed us in railways rather than flights, the mode we prefer for our kids these days. The journey to our nani's place itself was fun. When we reached there, the joy of hugging nani after a long journey and after a long time cannot be described here in words. She used to wait with bated breaths for us. The first line always used to be, "Kitni badi ho gayi hai" And for us our nani seemed a little old every time. There were no whatsapps, video calls or anything for nani to see us growing. Every summer, we grew up a little for her. With so many cousins, it was always a huge get-together and so much fun. We had to share our toys and play together. We learnt to eat all kinds of veggies and fruits as that's what nani had prepared for everyone. (And my mother prepares what my toddler likes, so that there is no fuss)

Visits to the temples, giving grains to birds and reading holy books was a natural thing at Nani's place. These days, there is a huge shopping list and visit to the malls during holidays. I am still pampered by my nani. But, both of us are more materialistic now. Because, this is the way we have learnt to measure love. In spite of so many changes, some things have not changed like 'pampering' 'binging on food' and 'lots of love'. The method of pampering has changed, though.

However, one thing that i love in new-age nanis is that they are open to change. While they love flaunting their iPads to their grandkids, they even take them to temples. Their is a fine balance they have embraced and no-one's complaining.

But, even now, i yearn to take my toddler to the good old summer holidays - when there was no screen-time, just face-to-face time playing dark room, hide-n-seek and so many games. Talking of games, we used to play so many of them... Wait, that will be a new topic altogether...some other day. For now, let me surprise my nani, not with gifts, but a visit with my little one. She will be more than just happy!!