"Pink!!!! Pink is my favorite color!" exclaimed my one and a half year old girl!!
And poof! all my dreams of unisex upbringing or what they call in the West, 'Gender neutral upbringing' vanished in thin air.
Yeah, pink is a lovely color. See, my blog has a tinge of pink and it gives it a happening look. But, should this color be associated just with feminism?
I never discriminated between frocks and jumpsuits, nor did I bought the newly loved pink suitcases for my lil daughter. I gave her blocks to play and asked her to hit the football with the boys. But there she is, standing in front of me, recognizing her favorite color among a slew of others. This made me thinking. Oh! I understand, now Pink is the favorite color of boys too and that might be the reason she liked it.
Whatever reasoning I gave, my heart came to understand that girls indeed are different. I have so many friends, who have kids my daughter's age. When we chat, we come to know that boys indeed like cars and trucks, while girls jump towards things that could be arranged. While boys play by hugging and hitting each other, girls smile and wink and jump together.
My fellow-mommies have decided to bring their kids in a neutral manner. But, their experience with their kids was a completely different thing, especially those who have boys. They say that their boys do not gel with little girls. They are hesitant to share their toys and even pull their hair. While they are okay with sharing them with boys and enjoy the hitting game. One of my friends, Ami, remarked that her little boy behaves well with my daughter but the moment there was a boy at her place, he behaved in a completely boy-ish manner.
So, how should I groom my daughter, was my question! My confusion was quadrupled when my maid uttered these words one day. "Isko t-shirt-pant nahin pehanao didi!" said my maid. I reasoned and she was of the opinion that my baby would have a habit of behaving like boys, dressing up like them, talking in their language and stuff. I was amused but it was a food for thought for me.
After reading articles, i understood that there is a fine line that should not be crossed. I had decided upon unisex upbringing, which does not mean that I cannot make her wear dresses, nor will I make her play with trucks all the time. I will do everything that mothers of boys do and also that of girls. My idea of upbringing is to let her decide what she wants to be like, a boy or a girl. I do not want to make my kiddo a feminist, though. I want to make her a tough girl, who can do everything that boys do, and still be called a woman of mettle.
My lil one is two-year old now. She does not shy away from boys, she plays even with the elder ones. She talks to everyone, in fact, she initiates conversations at times, just like I do. The one thing that I like about her, at present, is that she does not allow anyone to touch her. However much we think about neutral upbringing, girls will remain girls, and it is required that they learn protecting themselves, whether they are in India or in a country, seven seas across.
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